Sunday, July 3, 2016

Last note by a Broken soul

One last day..

One last day in the name of beginning..

One last day as your love..

One last day where you notice the love..

One last visit to the places where we left those memories afresh..

One last visit to my happy place which captured those moments where I spent thinking About you.. About me.. About being us!!

One last day to show you my world which often revolved around you..
One last day with the cheesecake being shared..

One last day with the lame love stories on your flat screen..

One last day where I let my love out loud..

One last moment where I lay on your shoulder..

One last moment where we laugh together..

One last moment with your cozy blanket wrapped up close..

One last moment where I can happily fall asleep on your heartbeat..

One last time I pray for the pause.. As usual it wouldn't work anyway..
The morning sunrises and I will be away.. I will walk away like nothing ever happened.. Nothing ever came true.. Nothing ever existed!!

In the memories of Nothing my tomorrow begins..

But for the one last day I want you to be mine..

For the one last day I wish everything I ever wanted atleast began so that I can end..
Then I shed One last tear to bookends this tale..

These were written by one of my friend. Sometimes i wonder how words come out so beautifully when you are in pain. Why not words like this when you are happy. Is it just me who finds sad song, or words by broken soul beautiful or is it everyone? Happy songs do make me happy, even the romatic songs. But they dont stay in mind the way sad song or lyrics does.

For happy songs, u dance or express and that's it. For romantic songs, u think of someone while listening to song, be lost for a while and that's it. But sad songs, you feel them, You stay there, You connect to the lyrics. Strange but true.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

My Salsa experience

Yes.. My Salsa experience.. Even i am not able to believe that i have started learning dance and that too SALSA.. :P :P I didnt start recently it's been more than 6 months and i have completed level1 and level2. I thought of writing a blog about it now because, it's nly nw that i thought abt more than just learning salsa. I thought about performing. Yessss.. i joined the performance batch and decided to overcome my stage fear. :D :D

So how did this craze about salsa start?? I wanted to learn salsa from long time. But knowing my tom boy nature along with being a girl with 2 left feet i never got the confidence that i could learn. Knowing the flexibility and grace needed for dance i decided that i could never do it. But somewhere in corner of heart, i had a small wish to learn salsa. Then i came to phase where i wanted to do something different other than just house and office. Wanted to take break from routine life and escape from the hectic office work. My dancer friend Debbie had joined Salsa at Furor bangalore, during same time and when she told me that she has joined the class, my kutti wish of learning salsa re-appeared. And this time, i didnt stop to think if i can do it or not. I spoke to her and just went and joined And thus started my salsa journey :)

Level 1 : my 1st class of level 1.. i had joined late to the class and my 1st class was actually 3rd or 4th class of the batch. I had lots to catch up. But thanks to instructor and friends i met in the batch, i was able to catch up easily. Learnt basic steps, the turns, musicality. i wont say i got everything perfectly. But was happy with what i learnt. I attended some 3 socials, danced with many ppl. I must say it was an awesome experience. I got little bit confident that i can dance :D

Level 2 : Level 2 also i joined late and i was disappointed with myself. Whatever confidence i had got in level 1 , i lost everything in level 2. Level 2 had mainly to do with styling, shines and double turns. None of which i have not got correctly till date :( :( I tried to learn, My friend Bala tried to teach me.. But somehow i was never able to get it right. Level 2 was total disappointment for me and i went back to the thought that i will never be able to dance.

While i was in these -ve thoughts, LVDS started the performance batch and Bala asked me to join along with him. But knowing about my stage fear and the way i learnt in level 2 i decided not to join and started waiting for level 3 to start. But there was a long gap for level 3 to start. It was more than 2 months since i had danced and i realized that i was kind of addicted to salsa. Though i never went to socials after 1st few, i use to go to class every weekend and also practice with Bala which had kept me alive and happy. The gap put me back into depression and i wanted to get back to learning dance again. And at this time, while was talking about dancing to Bala, i took a sudden decision to join the performance batch. Immediately Bala checked with his instructor Minoti and next day i went for a drop in class. I watched the steps. I felt they were difficult and had lot of styling. But still i wanted to do and didnt want to give up. I told mom and when she said i could go my decision was final, that i will join the performance batch.

Today was my 1st class in this batch and it didnt go too well but it wasnt that bad also. And full credit goes to Bala for helping me learn whatever i have missed. I won't say i was perfect but was saved from looking total dumb in the class :D :D Now i have decided to become perfect in whatever i have missed and also learn complete styling and give my best. 

My future plans when it comes to salsa?? Well, i have not thought abt too far. For right now i will be starting level 3 batch from next week, attend the iidc and learn from the workshops held there and perform on stage in iidc and if possible before that in spirit of dance :) :)

Ohh i missed to write about the amazing experience i had in the chennai salsa festival. That was my 1st salsa experience and my salsa addicted friend Bala made me register to the festival and made sure i was there. Thanks to him, i had an amazing experience. Instructors from different part of the world held workshops there and i learnt quiet a few dance forms. 3 days of salsa socials in the night, 2 days of workshops, new friends and an amazing company of Bala. It was one of my 1st best salsa moments :D :D Waiting for more of such moments..

"It is with your feet that you move... but it is with your heart that you dance"

Friday, February 28, 2014

Some people are simply the wrong match for you..

Recently I read a post: "10 painfully obvious truths everyone forgets too soon". 1 of the truth is what I have mentioned in title "Some people are simply the wrong match for you"

It's so true.. and we realise truth later after several experience.. we end up having wrong people around us most of the time and later cry for months when we find them wrong.. but sometimes even when we know the person is not right we will not be strong enough to let that person go out of our life.. During this time we need to remember one thing.. the person to whom we are holding on to is only making our life miserable. . We shouldn't force connections with people who makes us feel less than amazing..

Below I have just copied the content from the post:

"If someone makes you feel uncomfortable or insecure whenever you are with them, for whatever reason, they're probably not best friend material. If they make you feel like you can't be yourself or make you feel 'less than', don't pursue a connection with them. If you feel emotionally drained after hanging out them or feel even bit of anxiety when you think about them, listen to your intuition.  There are so many "right people"  for you, who energize you and inspires you to be your best self. So no point in forcing connection with people who are wrong for you."

So rightly said :-) :-) we just need to decide who is the one who makes us think positive and are always :-)

Thursday, February 27, 2014

What kind of guy???

Yaaa... That's the common question i am asked these days... And i will be totally clueless :P :P Seriously i have no idea what kind of guy i need in my life.. 

Well, the basic requirements is there.. like he should be caring, understanding, should know me well, give me my personal space, like my friends cz my frnds r my life.. hmm.. that's all for now.. What else should i see.. Lookwise he need not be, but should look good when with me ;) i can't think of anything else..

I believe when the guy right for me comes in my life i will know.. :P :P

Monday, February 24, 2014

Funny incident

2 weeks back i was in Norway on a business trip.. I went with one of my team guy and manager.. 
one particular day, the guy was too sleepy after lunch and asked me to pinch him to wake him up.. I found it weird and pinched him.. my pinch as all my friends know is not that painful.. so it didnt wake him up.. and then he asked me to slap him or pinch him hard.. it was too weird request to fulfill.. so i told him i can't and carried on with my work.. when he forced too much i got pissed off and told him that i don't pinch anyone except my close friends.. Don't know why he was offended by that.. he got angry and stopped talking to me.. i thought he was joking and after a while tried to talk to him.. called him for coffee so that it will drive away his sleep.. But he was still not talking and said he will have only professional talks with me.. I was like what the hell.. and let him be as he liked and stopped talking. The day went on and we didnt talk to each other.

Everyday over there, morning i use to call him and wake him up. So as usual called him to wake him up only to get an answer that he got up long back and was getting ready. That made me angry. So i decided that if he is treating me as a colleague even i will do the same. That night he said he wants to discuss something with me. When he came with laptop i thought it was work related. But then i saw a notepad with few points and later got to know those were the points he made to ask sorry :O :O Well, he started off with his 1st point asking sorry for troubling me. 2nd point, sorry for getting angry. But then, he was still confused about why i didnt pinch him. It seems he found that weird and in fact googled for half an hour to check what is wrong with a girl pinching a guy :O :O I didn't know how to react.. Means who will google about such a topic.. and he gave analogy also.. saying that when someone is having fits, we need to pinch or slap that person hard to make sure the person doesn't go to unconscious state. But how is that even related to keeping him awake. 

Anyways, i narrated this to my friends and everyone found it funny :P even today i laugh thinking about the incident :P

Depressed, alone or just thinking too much

It took me 5 minutes to decide what exactly i want to write.. it's been long time since i wrote something and was confused where to start.. and then decided to write about my life before 1 year.. but didnt want to go back there.. Then thought life from past 1 year.. well it was nt that interesting to write anything abt past 1 year.. So finally decided to write abt my current state of mind..

Current state of mind.. hmmm.. well i am confused abt that too.. Either i am too depressed, feeling lonely or so jobless that i am getting all nonsense thoughts in mind :P 

Might be it's just the lack of activities to do.. or things to keep me busy.. I did join salsa.. it made me happy.. infact very happy.. i wanted to learn dancing from very long time.. and finally i joined.. and learnt little bit.. But then now what happened??? may b cz i am nt making use of what i learnt.. But i dont want to go to socials.. or perform on stage.. both makes me feel very conscious.. once in a while socials is fine.. but not always.. so what do i do now.. :( Guess i will just wait for level 3 to start, then i will think of what to do..

I am trying to read novels.. but getting bored of that too :( :( saturated by too much of reading.. and work.. that's like hell.. not the work.. but the work place.. ahh.. too irritating.. too much of politics.. all are not same what they show to be.. 

Need a break.. long break.. away from work.. away from routine.. something different..

This blog for sure looks gibberish.. or makes no sense.. ha ha.. that's my current state of mind :P :P

Thursday, February 16, 2012

have something to write but dnt kno hw...

Confused by title?? well thats hw i am nw.. feel lik hv lot to say.. but dnt kno to whom n hw..

I think i am seriously a kid.. i dnt understand many things.. i am in luv wid a person who kept on lyin to me... most of the time.. y does he hv to do that.. he makes me feel very spl.. most of the time.. but again same time hurts me by doin something i dnt like n lie after that.. what am i suppose to do.. I dnt want to let him go.. cz no1 has loved me like him..

rt nw in confused state.. wish i can find a solution.. something to calm me.. all i hv been doin is cryin.. i dnt like this.. y cant he change.. i hv changed mostly.. my frnds tell i hv changed.. that i am nt the same girl they knew before.. but still i dnt care cz i changed for my love.. but y he cant c that.. y he cant change??

Wish things gets well soon... like before.. with happy ending...